The Trending Topics of Gaza

Attention citizens of the world, I wish to get your attention.  Message from Anonymous person from Gaza. If you are planning on visiting Gaza there are a few things/facts that you must be aware of, I repeat MUST be aware of. 

First things first, Gaza is not a place to be feared and Gazans are probably the most hospitable people on earth. But, (and there is always a but) you need to know that Gaza is like “twitter” everyday there is something trending. So here are the most trending topics in Gaza that you need to know, Just in case you decided to come down here :

 #ElectricityCrisis
See, If you’re planning on spending a long time working on an assignment or a project on your computer, make sure to “save” every single thing you do every two seconds. You never know, the electricity might fail you and go off at any time. Happens a lot.

#Unemployment
In Gaza, it’s funny to say “I’m unemployed” because the answer that you will most likely get is “aren’t we all honey!”

#GazansHeartPDF
PDFs are a Gazans best friend. If you’re a bookworm, Well don’t be. Go and find another hobby, because there aren’t a lot of books around here. So once you decide to come to Gaza, bring your books with you.

#F16s
You have to keep the windows of your house a little open. Whether it’s winter, summer or even spring, just keep them open at all times. You never know when the F16s would feel like laying some rockets here or there.

#Drones
And the Oscar for the most annoying “unmanned aerial vehicle” whose buzzing keeps you up at night and in the morning distort the signal of your TV goes to -DRONES.

 #Vocabunoia
In gaza you have to prepare yourself for paranoia along with vocabulary change. I’ll give you a couple of examples:
As for the Paranoia:
A door slammed “oh god was that an explosion?”
Thunder “F16, not F16, F16, not F16”
And the Vocabulary Change:
A mother nagging “ok ok I’ll do it  just stop droning all over my head”
A student nailing a presentation “did you see, I practically bombed the class!”

#Classico
In Gaza, the most exciting days of the year are: Eid days, First and last days of Ramadan, all the holidays, any other day that causes a no-school-day and of course Classico day. You know in Gaza football is a big deal, just like anywhere else. 85% of people around here are FC Barcelona fans and the rest are Real Madrid fans. True story!

#Teachers
In Gaza my friend, the yellow-page celebrities who are always traced by paparazzi and autograph fans and the one’s whose news is always the major topic in gossip are teachers. No, I’m not kidding.

#Facebook
Believe it or not, in Gaza FB is the 99%

#GazaBeach
Come and see our beach yourself, it’s even more beautiful than the famous Miami beach It even takes it of the map ! “Ok, I may have got carried away a little with that.”

#BachelorParties
Weddings and engagement parties are increasing these days. You will enjoy the bachelor parties guys hold at the middle of the streets where everyone is invited to come and dance and probably sing! I am not going to describe what these kinds of parties are like for I am not a spoiler, come visit Gaza and see for yourself. 

#GroomlessWeddings
Now as for the weddings themselves, you will see that groomless weddings are a trend in Gaza. The groom would be a Gazan who works abroad escaping unemployment here, and could not come to his own wedding fearing any complication in the borders.

#GazaChildren
In Gaza the children’s wildest dream is to fly a kite, they don’t know any better. 

#GazaSky
I don’t know how to break this to you but, in Gaza the only natural scene that we enjoy is the sky, no mountains, no waterfalls, no colored trees, no hills, no rivers no nothing. Just a beautiful sky and a beautiful sea.

#GazaWar
ever since 2008 and all we talk about it the war. the war has left a mark or i’d rather say a scar on our lives. 

The reason why I wrote this is mainly because I read an article on the travel.nytimes.com yesterday, (no I do not visit that website normally, not even ever) it’s just that the title of the article kind of caught my attention “The 45 places to go in 2012” I thought it was interesting so I scanned it. I saw London, Cuba, Moscow, Antarctica, Jordan and even Space! and to my surprise I didn’t find Gaza! so I wrote this in order to enlighten you all about Gaza and show you how it is worth visiting. You know despite all the trends and all.

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5 responses to “The Trending Topics of Gaza

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