I think i’m Guilty!

Hi, my name is Amal, and I’m a Gazan.

Well, I know, I know.. the first thing that comes into your mind when hearing the word “Gaza” is, “Blockade, misery, death, and a desperate seek of freedom”… and at the same time you hear  “the land of heroes, steadfastness, resistance and patriotism” because actually they’re all are true! Gaza is all that.. and more..

So if Gaza is all that, then the least thing you expect of its youth inhabitants is “loyalty, patience, highly educated, politics analysts, serious, boring –maybe-.. and you know what you may even think we’re all bunch of freak weirdo’s..” BUT, we’re not! We are the absolute contrary.. not all of us of course, but I’ll speak for myself here.

I’m a girl who’s going to turn 21 in the 9th of Dec. next month.. an English literature student.. and a girl who loves and wishes to live her life the way she feels she’s supposed to be living.. living my age the way it’s supposed to be lived.. just living my life, the way I want. I like what a standard girl my age likes, movies, actors, fashion, sunglasses!! Skinny jeans… etc

To be honest, I’m not a real big fan of politics, and I care LESS about it, not that I don’t care at all because I do, I just care less.. I care MORE about other things..  the only time in which I cared more about politics was at the time of the 2009 Offensive on Gaza, and what did it bring me -but early aging and images of dying people who still haunts me in my dreams.. what did it bring me but fear of every F16 or helicopter sound I hear.. or even fear of thunders and lightening which I sometime mix between them and the sound of theF16 bombings. What did it bring me but sorrow to be piled up on top of my heart more than the one I already got..

So I care more about movies, series and TV shows. Yes, I watch a lot and I mean a lot of movies and series. I just love watching them.. well, I think I love movies so much because it’s my only way escaping reality sometimes, cliché I know but it’s “a cheesy” fact, the fact that TV is the only place where I can get to see “ a cinema, an ocean, a colored tree, a lion a weird looking fishes, a roller coaster, a plane, a ship, a train…” which are (all) and more things I wish to see in my life!!!

I’m a girl who: has a crush on Ryan Reynolds, screams when watching Russell Crowe, cries when watching Brad Pitt die at Troy each time I repeat the movie, Awws when watching Johnny Depp as the Hatter, Smiles when watching Bruce Willis – don’t’ know why exactly-, LMAO When watching Dwayne Johnson as the Tooth fairy, has an obsession on Grey’s anatomy, and another obsession on Fringe.

But hey wait a second.. that all doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a TV Geek and all I care about is TV and actors! because I’m a very good student at college, and I’m a very sociable person, I help my mother cleaning the house a lot – I really wash a lot of dishes every day which makes me feel more like a human washing machine-, I hang out with my friends, and I adore nature. I’m a girl who wishes to speak to her friends about hair dying and nail polishing, about actors, about even Twilight without them looking at me as if I’m a teenager or tell me that “these stuff are too girly to talk about” and instead talk about the society crisis and the irritating situation we live in. without them looking at me expecting me to talk about books and politics all the time.

For God’s sake I’m 20 not 30 I deserve to live my age the way it’s supposed to be lived! Not live it so conservative and boring.. I want to live my age the way all girls my age all around the globe live theirs .. is that too much to ask?

Is it a crime to like an actor? Is it a crime to post on the walls of my room movie and actor posters? Is it a crime to talk about my style with my friends? Is it a crime to wish to travel abroad? Or is it because I’m a Gazan I’m destined to live in Gaza so people can call me a true patriot? is it a crime to act crazy sometimes when I feel like it? is it a crime to dream? True I’m a Gazan, but I’m not stereotype type kind of Gazan girl. I’m just a 20 year old girl going on 21 and wishes to feel like it.

My name is Amal, and If all that i want is a crime.. then I’m guilty as charged.

7 responses to “I think i’m Guilty!

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