6 Hours of Light

This is not some regular black wallpaper and I am not eulogizing the death of someone or even something with this. Believe it or not, this is a picture of the streets outside of my window right now. 

  Gazans

   Gaza Strip

  Eeeh, us Gazans! You will always hear us nag about two things: The siege and the electricity and the drones, and the occupation.. ok maybe more than two things after all!

We are only allowed or gifted with 6 hours of electricity a day! “well, I guess that’s something to brag about” so 6 hours of light and the rest a total black out. No electricity hence no internet and even no network coverage for cellphone calls.

But you know what, I am not going to nag about the electricity crisis in this post. And I’m not even going to mention the “e” word. Instead I’m going to talk about something else because the last thing I’d want to read in a blog is someone pitying him/herself and their situation. And I believe a lot of Gazans will read this blog so I just don’t want to remind them. Enough is enough.

So as a more fun alternative, I’m going to talk about upcoming movies on TV. I guess we all agree that movies are always fun to talk about and criticize. Oh no wait a minute…. I can’t really talk about that because TV = “the thing that we do not speak its name” what a bummer!

Ok ok ok no problem. Something more exciting, let me see – Uh hah, 4 days ago I returned from Dubai and I got my brother an XBox game from there. Hold on a second, he didn’t even play it twice nor have I seen it in the first place because of the— damn! I’m losing my charm here!

BOOKS! Books are interesting and they say book are man’s best friend.. Ehem but they need light.. Wrong subject again

Alright, alright I got it this time, another subject change.. bear with me people

Laptops, once the battery is fully charged you wouldn’t even need the (you know what) and it can hold up to 3 hours or more! Or you know what, I made up my mind I will talk about social media, Facebook and twitter.. they are undoubtedly the most talked about subjects  in the universe.

So Facebook ————-

 

 

Gaza’s T.Ts

Attention citizens of the world, I wish to get you attention.  Message from Anonymous person from Gaza. If you are planning on visiting Gaza, there are a few things/facts that you must be aware of, I repeat MUST be aware of. 

First things first, Gaza is not a place to be feared, and Gazans are probably the most hospitable people on earth. Where ever you look you will find a welcoming smile and where ever you go you will find a home.

BUT, (and there is always a but) you need to know that Gaza is like “twitter” everyday there is something trending. So here are the most trending topics in Gaza that you need to know, Just in case you decided to come down here .

 T.T. number 1, #ElectricityCrisis
See, If you’re planning on spending along time working on an assignment or a project on your computer, make sure to “save” every single thing you do every two seconds. You never know the electricity might shock you and go off at any time. Happens a lot.

T.T. number 2, #Unemployment
In Gaza, it’s funny to say “I’m unemployed” because the answer that you will most likely get is “aren’t we all honey!”

T.T. number 3, #GazansHeartPDF
PDFs are Gazans best friends. If you’re a bookworm, Well, don’t be go and find another hobby, because there aren’t a lot of books around here. So if you’re planning on coming to Gaza, bring your books with you.

T.T. number 4, #F16s
You have to keep the windows of your house a little open. Whether it’s winter time, summer time or even spring, just keep them open at all times. You never know when the F16 would feel like laying some rockets here or there.
ps. check this: http://wp.me/pUy13-cu 

T.T. number 5, #Drones
And the Oscar for the most annoying “unmanned aerial vehicle” that’s buzzing keeps you up at night and in the morning distort the signal of your TV goes to… DRONES.
ps. check this: http://wp.me/pUy13-eQ 

 T.T. number 6, #Vocabunoia
In gaza you have to prepare yourself for paranoia along with vocabulary change. I’ll give you a couple of examples:
#Paranoia:
A door slammed “oh god was that an explosion?”
Thunder “F16, not F16, F16, not F16”
#VocabularyChange:
A mother nagging “ok ok I’ll do it  just stop droning all over my head”
A student nailing a presentation “did you see, I practically bombed the class!”

T.T. number 7, #Classico
In Gaza, the most exciting days of the year are: Eid days, First and last days of Ramadan, all the holidays, any other day that causes a no-school-day and of course Classico day. You know in Gaza football is a big deal, just like anywhere else. 85% of people around here are FC Barcelona fans and the rest are Real Madrid fans. True story!

T.T. number 8, #Teachers
In Gaza my friend the yellow-page celebrities who are always traced by paparazzi and autograph fans and the one’s whose news is always the major topic in gossip are teachers. No, I’m not kidding.

T.T. number 9, #Facebook
Believe it or not, in Gaza FB is the 99%
ps. check this: http://wp.me/pUy13-3c 

T.T number 10, #GazaBeach
Come and see our beach yourself, it’s even more beautiful and famous than Miami beach!
ps. check this: http://wp.me/pUy13-7C  

T.T number 11, #BachelorParties
Weddings and engagement parties are increasing these days. You will enjoy the bachelor parties guys held at the middle of the streets where everyone is invited to come and dance and probably sing! I am not going to describe what these kinds of parties are like for I am not a spoiler, come visit Gaza and see for yourself. 

T.T number 12, #GroomlessWeddings
Now as for the weddings themselves, you will see that groomless weddings are a trend in Gaza. The groom would be a Gazan who works abroad escaping unemployment here in Gaza, and could not come to his own wedding fearing any complication in the borders.

T.T number 13, #GazaChildren
In Gaza the children’s wildest dream is to fly a kite, they don’t know any better. 

T.T number 14, #GazaSky
I don’t know how to break this to you but, in Gaza, the only natural scene that we enjoy is the sky, no mountains, no waterfalls, no colored trees, no hills, no rivers no nothing. Just a beautiful sky and a beautiful sea.
ps. check this: http://wp.me/pUy13-7C 

T.T number 15, #GazaWar
ever since 2009 and all we talk about it the war. the war has left a mark or i’d rather say a scar on our lives. 

See the reason why I wrote this is mainly because I read an article on the travel.nytimes.com yesterday, (no I do not visit that website normally, not even ever) it’s just that the title of the article kind of caught my attention “The 45 places to go in 2012” I thought it was interesting so i scanned it. I saw London, Cuba, Moscow, Antarctica, Jordan and even Space! and to my surprise I didn’t find Gaza! so I wrote this in order to enlighten you all about Gaza and show you how it is worth visiting.. you know despite all the trends and all.

“Have a blast”

My Thrilling birthday..

  

So as you can see, it was all going nice and cool until this one girl wrote on my wall..

30 minutes later,

and of course the “thrilling” news just kept on coming..

 

then another friend said to me..

and finally..

the thing is Gazans please be careful what you wish for your friends on their birthday specially this “have a blast”!

Gaza Diaries: The moon

A mighty, majestical, chills provoking, wide halo is around Gaza’s moon right now.

Family reactions:

Mom: feels like a heaven’s door is open.

Dad: he was saying prayers “Dua”

Sister: I envy those scientists who study the moon.. telescopes and all lucky basterds!

Me: I gotta take a good picture of this! This is soooo blogged

My little brother: I’m calling my brother in Dubai.

Brother from Dubai: say whaaaat! How come we can’t see this?

Other brother: he’s the one who told me! i was watching “The Change-up”.

My old Niece: where?

Uncle: they say there’s a planet approaching the moon or something..

Niece:  I prayed! Maaan this is the end of the world. (I think you should know that she’s a drama queen)

Her little brother: Dad are we in 2012? (he’s a drama queen too)

Her older brother: I shouldn’t have watched 2012! That damn movie has been hunting my dreams ever since I watched it.. and now.. man this is a sign (they all are a bunch of drama queens)

Her little sister: a sleep

Her little, little sister: I’m cold, are you done taking pictures yet?

My old niece after seeing it now with us on the roof: why are you  all so obsessed with this movie? *now talking to me alone* between you and I, I didn’t like it at all! i mean look at this! spooky

Me: guys you’re picking the wrong movie, this is “Armageddon” i mean a nother planet approaching the moon! hello! Bruce Willis, Armageddon. End of discussion

The older brother: you have no idea what you’re saying this is 2012!

All: hell yeah, 2012!

My niece Yasmeen: God loves us, and we live in a beautiful city 

Her sister Asmaa from Egypt: Lucky! 

  

Drones are not an option

Gazangly speaking, I like the roaring of the F16s better than the buzzing of the drones. I mean the F16s just pass by they don’t stick around buzzing nonstop driving everybody crazy. And you know what, F16s sound like PHHHEEEWWwww… and that would be it, gone. Unlike drones. Drones my friend are different and not just any “different” they are “hostile different.” They go like DRRRRRrrrrrrrRRR!! Yes our drones don’t simply buzz “ZZZzz” they are more advanced. They DRR. I guess it’s because we are special people! ergo we get the special stuff. Drones don’t stop for gas, they don’t get rusty and the dude behind them doesn’t get a lunch break or break at all, so I think it’s safe to say that we are endowed with “full option” drones. We’re damn lucky! [sounds like an add.!]

Anyway, you know what I like most about drones? They deliver! They do their jobs hetero-perfectly, that no matter what you do: shut the windows, suffocate yourself with your billow, kill yourself, watch a movie (if you ever could! Because they distort the signal) or even drug yourself to sleep they would be there faithfully drring your head off! Actually if you did get lucky and slept at night, Guess what.. they pop in your dreams “Whoops where do you think you’re going? You can sleep but you can’t get deaf Drrrr!” and let’s face it we can’t just walk around all day with our headphones on! We gotta give our ears some rest! Hear that drones “A REST.”

Drones brought out all sorts of creativity in all people around Gaza. Some people discovered they can write, others found out that they can be real good photographers, others reviled their hidden poetry writing skills, others thought they should sign up for the next season of the X Factor because they figured out that they can actually holler! Sorry I mean sing and the others tweeted about it. You can check the hashtags #GazaMovies #DronesTaughMe #Drones  

So as long as “BIG BROTHER IS DRONING US”, drring all day long and night “especially night” we aint sleepin’ and we aint dreamin’ of sleepin’ and for that I would like to seize this opportunity and declare a sleeping strike! I will not sleep until those drones go away. Who’s with me? Gazans, puh-lease.. don’t kid yourselves, you all are in whether you like it or not! It’s not an option really.

Who knew Newspapers Could Inspire!

She’s probably 80 years old or more, but surely not less. Rusty, old wrinkles have hidden the features of her face. Hunchbacked and with her right hand supporting her back and the other moving carelessly forwards and backwards, she strolled into the room my mother and I were sitting in. The first words she uttered with her tender and rather shaky voice were “where is the newspaper?” The lady tailor who was fixing my mother’s Abaya answered “we didn’t receive it today.” I then offered the old lady a chair; she sat next to me then said “thank you. Why? I want the newspaper!” “I will go and check with our neighbors and see if they got one.” My mother then started talking with this old lady whom apparently she have spoken with before then said “This is my daughter” she looked at me and said “yeah, you came yesterday.” I said “no, you must have seen my sister, I’m the other daughter.” She smiled adding even more wrinkles to her calm face and said “oh, I hardly noticed.” She asked me what I study at college; and I told her in Arabic that I finished English literature (Adaab Engleeze) she pondered for a second then said “English.. eh.. English, I forgot the word, it’s been a long time. English..” “Literature?” I said fulfilling her missing word, hesitantly. “Exactly Literature, now I remember! I was an English teacher, you know.” After saying those words, it was like a waterfall of memories kept pouring on her mind. She told us how she was a teacher in Gaza, then Kuwait then Jerusalem, then Yaffa among other Palestinian cities. She shared with us some anecdotes of her life as a teacher travelling through countries and of the Israeli occupation at that time, especially in Jerusalem which occupied most of her anecdotes. The lady Tailor has come back for some time without the newspaper; the old lady asked her again about it, but the lady tailor replied “they didn’t get the newspaper too today, Hajja Myassar.” Hajja Myassar disappointed and upset said “I want to read the newspaper. I want to know what’s happening out there. The headlines at least” When I got home, I went into a coma of thoughts thinking about this lady and her obsession with the newspaper. All my life I’ve hated teaching “still do” but she inspired me somehow. The amount of passions she put while talking about teaching were inspiring; the way she was talking about the past and how wonderful it was was inspiring; even her obsession with the newspaper was inspiring. I remember she said “when we first went to Kuwait (my fellow teachers and I) the Kuwaiti students were ignorant. It was us Palestinians who taught them everything. Us Gazans taught them everything.” And I kept thinking I want to be like that. You know, make a change! Do something that I’d be so much proud of the way she was proud of teaching. I want to be obsessed with something. Even if that something was a newspaper. 

Last Friday Day (T.G.I.F)

Gazans are endowed with the most fascinatingly dazzling options when it comes to hanging out on Fridays. Families would be puzzled by the “so many” options they have to choose from. Polls would be held. Eventually they would decide to go to the very same place they chose last Friday, and the Friday before that, and before that. The sea. The poll anyway would consist of three options (The sea, the beach and the sea). 

1.6 million People live in Gaza, only the (.6) would be staying at home -thinking of going to the sea, while the entire million would have already made up their minds and are on their way there, or are already there. The sea would be extremely jammed, you would be lucky to catch a glimpse of the shore because of the so many children, women, men and teenagers who are swimming. On the shore!

Although the atmosphere would be quite disappointing because of the amount of people around you and the fact that you can’t move from one spot to another because simply there is no other spot, yet children would be thrilled.

 Football, volleyball, beach ball and all kinds of (ball activity) would be played. Sand castles would be everywhere and horses would be ridden. The look on the face of those happy children makes you just forget the demonstration-like atmosphere around you.

There is only one place Gazans can go to and have real fun, and that is the sea. Whether it’s Friday, Sunday, Tuesday or any day during the week, sea is always the option.

ps. T.G.I.F stands for: Thank God It’s Friday.

 

A Text Message Took Me to Ramallah!

Three days ago, I received a text message from a reporter from Times Magazine saying that he’s on his way to Gaza and that he wants to meet me to talk about some of Gaza’s local issues. I already met him back in March with my friend Lina and we talked about the “March 15th demonstration seeking the end of the division between Fath and Hamas.” So I called him and told him that I wanted this meeting to be in Carino’s caffé, which is a new restaurant here in Gaza, then we agreed on the timing. The next day, I was there on time, and so was he that we both met at the restaurant’s door. As my friend “Abeer” who happened to be meeting him an hour earlier and decided to join him to Carino’s to meet me opened the door, I told him that this is a new restaurant in town. Once he walked in, an amazement look followed by a “Wow” was his reaction. He was overwhelmed with what he saw that the first thing he said after the “wow” was “this is just like in Ramallah!” Once I heard that sentence, which i took as a compliment, I felt really proud and delighted that my reaction was putting on my face the widest smile ever, and the first thing I uttered was “oh, really?.” I don’t know why, but the very second he said “this is just like in Ramallah” I felt like I was in a restaurant in Ramallah. I’ve never been there, but I just had this weird mysterious feeling like i was there at that exact moment. So I felt as if I were in Ramallah, yet if I walked out of the door I will find Myself in Gaza. I was in two places at one time. As I showed him the rest of the restaurant, I asked him again what he thought, he replied with a smile on his face “this is amazing, just like in Ramallah” then I replied “you know, we are doing the best we can.” He giggled and said “yeah.” His first spontaneous reaction, his little 6-word sentence took me to Ramallah; I was there for 2 whole minutes. My eyes saw everything “Ramallah.” Ramallah tables, Ramallah floors, Ramallah waiters, Ramallah wood, Ramallah decor, even the place smelled Ramallah for 2 whole minutes, just untill we sat down on the table, only then I came back to Gaza.
Thank you Mr. Karl for the quick, yet unforgettable trip.

 

After the meeting was over, Abeer and I played Billiards for the first time in our lives, that was just hilarious! Related words: Just because we live under a blockade that doesn’t necessarily mean that we MUST suffer, stand still and not do anything to help us deal with the situation we are living in. Yes, we are doing the best we can. And Yes, i’m proud of this.
Related Blogs:  http://goo.gl/Vmjv6 , http://goo.gl/fjWMl

                                

First Day Of School

Last night I decided to accompany my 7^th grade niece (Rana) to her first day of school today. I slept at my uncles place for the occasion, woke up at 05:00am, woke everybody up, prepared myself, combed my nieces hair and then off we went out. As we walked out from the house at 05:45am I was so excited –even more than Rana herself.- I started to imagine how the streets would be and how kids would wave at each other. I even took my camera to take pictures of “the happy day”. I saw jammed streets with boys and girls of all ages, Wearing their uniforms, heading to school with their mother or father, holding their new bags proud, happy and excited.. ok hold on, I didn’t see any of this! This is how I “imagined” things would be like! But in reality I saw the absolute opposite! The streets were embarrassingly empty, the schools were weirdly inhabited and the weather was surprisingly cool. Not quite what I expected for the first day of school, except for the weather part.

Apparently, the rumor which we all believed that the school bill would ring at 06:15am was, well, a rumor! We were a little no not a little we were very early, that as I said the streets were so empty. No taxis, no open shops, no people, no nothing! Just us, wandering alone as a cloud. When the clock hit 06:30am “boys and girls of all ages showed up, wearing their uniforms, heading to school with their mother or father, holding their new bags proud, happy and excited.”  

        

          

      

and kids, always remember.. BIG BROTHER IS always WATCHING..

“O Brother, Where Art Thou!”

Back In 2003, my eldest brother Tawfiq travelled to Jordan to study “Biomedical Engineering” there. He came to visit us in Gaza two times ever since. The first, I don’t remember when while the second was in 2006 for my sister’s wedding. After that he never came to Gaza until a week ago.

The time between 2008-2011, each time we would call him we would ask him the very same old question about visiting us again, and he would reply with the very same old ready answer,

“-Hey, why don’t you come to Gaza this summer?
“- I would really love to, but you know “borders.””

“- Don’t tell me borders I hear it’s open, come to Gaza we miss you”
“- I wish, but I have a job now and I can’t jeopardize being stuck there. One day it’s open the next it’s closed until further notice”

by the time, questions became a little shorter..
“wanna come to Gaza?”
“borders.”

Until we barely even used words
“GAZA??”
“Borders!”

In the 18th of January 2011, my father had a business trip to Dubai where Tawfiq works. He went there along with my mother and my other older brother (Amer). They spent two month with him. Now it was my sister, little brother and I who has not seen him ever since 2006. This long time created some sort of a gap between us; we didn’t know what his character is like, what his likes and dislikes are or what his favorite foods or drinks are even. Little did we know about him. I remember whenever we would Skype my parents at the time they were with him I used to wait for the time Amer would be alone to ask him about my brother and his character!

A week ago, the 23rd of August 2011, Tawfiq surprised us all and came to Gaza without telling anyone that he was planning on coming. We had been begging him a lot lately to come, but the borders were not helping and his job was not helping either.

The day he surprised us and just showed up out of nowhere, we were inviting my sister and her husband for Iftar meal, it was 4:00 something pm when I was carrying my sister’s 10 month old daughter “Sarah”, taking her to my room to change her diapers, when I heard my sister shouting on the phone “whaaaaat, are you kidding me? Really? You are down HERE! NOOO! Seriously? MOMMM TAWFIQ IS HERE!” I found myself spontaneously putting the little girl on the ground, changed my dirty full of baby vomit and food clothes, and within a second my sister and I were downstairs. Mouth widely smiling, heart violently racing, and hands unstoppably trembling.

As soon as my brother appeared I found myself frozen where I stood flooding with happy tears. Actually, I was REALLY crying! It was like my face was leaking water! My sister, on the other hand, jumped right past me and hugged him as tight as she could. And when I restored the function of my legs I walked slowly towards him covering my mouth with my hands still crying. We hugged and then he said to me enthusiastically with a smile on his face “aww why, why?” and I replied in the most awkward voice a person could produce while crying “I missed you.”

And now here I am.. it has been exactly a week since my brother showed up and I’m still figuring out his character, sometimes by asking him, other times by observing what he does.

Thank you occupation for the sweet non-memories I have with my brother, thank you for the “I don’t know” I keep answering people when they ask me about my brother, thank you for the fact that whenever I call my sister part of the call would be “do you know that tawfiq…”

2 of the things my brother got me from Dubai, Malcolm X and a little book holder

PS. Happy Eid